Episode 101
Join Us for This Week’s Episode of A Day In Her Life with Ciji Townsend – Full, Balanced, and Joyfully Intentional Days
This week, Ellie sits down with Ciji Townsend, corporate communicator, keynote speaker, founder of Balanced Not Busy, and mom based in Atlanta. Known for her refreshing take on time, balance, and presence, Ciji shares how she structures her days to support both her ambition and her well-being.
What We Discuss:
Listening to Her Body: Why Ciji lets her body guide how she starts her mornings—and how that sets the tone for her day.
The Burner Theory: Ciji’s framework for throttling her energy and focus based on what she needs most in a given moment.
Evening Prep for Morning Ease: The nighttime routines that make her mornings smooth and stress-free.
Shifting Household Labor: How an annual planning session with her husband led to a more balanced division of responsibilities—including weekend dinners.
Fun Food Fridays: The family tradition that makes Friday nights joyful and easy.
To-Do Lists & Prioritization: Her approach to staying focused and productive without the overwhelm.
Founding Balanced Not Busy: What inspired her to start the platform and her mission to connect with women in all life stages.
Making Time for Marriage: How she and her husband create intentional time together—including making the most of work travel.
This episode is full of wisdom, practical systems, and heartfelt reflections for women looking to lead more intentional, values-aligned lives without the pressure of doing it all.
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[00:01:27] Ellie: Hi friends. Welcome to today's episode of A Day in Her Life podcast. I am so thrilled for you to be here and I am excited to be in conversation with Ciji Townsend. Ciji is a corporate director and on Instagram, her handle is balanced not busy.
And dang, if that didn't speak to my soul. Hi Ciji. Thank you so much for joining me today. How's your day going?
[00:01:46] Ciji: My day is going awesome, and I'm so happy to be here. This is my favorite topic a day in my life.
[00:01:54] Ellie: I love it. Let's jump right in. Can you tell, , me and those who might not know you a little bit about who you are, how you feel your time and what your household looks like?
[00:02:03] Ciji: Absolutely. So originally from Texas, from Fort Worth, Texas, but I've lived in Atlanta for 20 plus years, so I consider Georgia home. I live here with my husband and my two kiddos. I am bonus mama of an 11-year-old, and I still consider myself a fresh mama of a three-year-old. So we're still navigating like toddler life with her.
And you know, I fill my professional hat with two main things. I'm a corporate communicator and I love what I do. It's a lot of problem solving, to be honest. And my second professional hat that I wear is the founder, a balance, not busy. So I am just a radical advocate for rest, and I am on a mission to tell as many people as possible, even if I just touch one per day about how they can live such a full life and rest.
[00:02:56] Ellie: I love that. And I would argue you are definitely still a fresh mama. 'cause I am learning something every day from my three-year-old and I'm still like, how are you, you're such a human.
[00:03:07] Ciji: Right.
[00:03:08] Ellie: it's crazy.
[00:03:10] Ciji: Time flies when you're having fun. They say,
[00:03:12] Ellie: Exactly. Let's do a few rapid fires. So coffee or tea.
[00:03:18] Ciji: oh gosh, coffee as I literally just sip my coffee that I warmed up for the third time today, which is my norm. But here we are. We're, we're in acceptance mode. I'm accepting that. That's my reality and just warm it up.
[00:03:32] Ellie: There you go. Do you prefer reading or watching tv?
[00:03:36] Ciji: Oh, reading all day, 110%.
[00:03:39] Ellie: Are you reading anything good right now?
[00:03:41] Ciji: I am, I am a big Kristin Hannah fan and I've read all of her stuff kind of outta order. I mean, she's got a full repertoire of really good books, but I'm reading home Front right now and I'm on the cusp. And I love it when I get on the cusp of like the end because I literally can, I just can't stop.
Like, I can't focus until I finish the freaking book. So I, I can't wait.
[00:04:03] Ellie: I love that feeling when you just can't put it down.
[00:04:06] Ciji: Yes,
[00:04:07] Ellie: Have you read The Women By Her?
[00:04:09] Ciji: I have, that's actually what started it for me. So I'm a fairly new Kristin Hannah Gurley. But I read three of her books last year and I mean, they're pretty thick. So conquering three in one year is, is no small feat.
[00:04:23] Ellie: No, for
[00:04:24] Ciji: Sure.
[00:04:25] Ellie: the women was one
[00:04:26] Ciji: One of my favorite books from last year. Yes.
[00:04:30] Ellie: awesome. Beach or mountains?
[00:04:32] Ciji: Ooh, beach, please.
[00:04:36] Ellie: Sweet or savory?
[00:04:38] Ciji: Oh gosh. Both
[00:04:43] Ellie: Chocolate or
[00:04:43] Ciji: or vanilla? Vanilla, for sure.
[00:04:47] Ellie: And then if you could describe your days in three words, what words would you choose?
[00:04:52] Ciji: Woo. Now that's a loaded question. Let's see. Full balanced. My favorite word, couldn't leave that out. And the third word would probably be,
oh gosh. Immersive.
[00:05:11] Ellie: Ooh,
[00:05:11] Ciji: Ooh. Yeah.
[00:05:12] Ellie: got that one before. I like it.
[00:05:14] Ciji: Yeah.
[00:05:17] Ellie: Awesome. All right, well, let's jump right in with your mornings. So
let's
start with when you get up, how you prepare for your day and what your day looks like. Uh, off from waking up until maybe your kids get off to school. And if you wanna keep going, I'll prompt you. If not, just pause and ask you the next like phase, like what's next. et cetera.
[00:05:38] Ciji: for sure. So my mornings are really designed based on the season of life that I'm living in, and I, my seasons change a lot.
And so, you know, I, I will preface what I'm about to share with you all with. This is my current life season with my burners all in different shapes and forms. And really a typical morning is I wake up before anybody else in the house. Really not because of the mama mode activated. I've always been an early bird and so it's just really worked out for me.
I typically get up at least an hour or two before everyone else. In this current season, we're leaning more towards the 6:00 AM timeframe. When I first wake up, I reach for a drink. Now the drink varies. So some mornings when I'm on my best behavior, I start with a little lemon water. When I just need to jump right on into the caffeine, I break all the rules that social media tells us not to drink.
Caffeine, you know, first thing when you wake up, who cares? You gotta do what you gotta do. So I drink a cup of coffee, and then I like to go into just some quiet time, and that varies. Depending on the mood that I'm in, depending on how I feel. I like to really listen to my body. And sometimes my body will say, Hey, you just need to kind of pause and do some meditation and just breathe and just, you know, your mind is full and you need to do the things.
Or it might, my body may be screaming for devotion time and it's like, Hey, I'm a believer I need to get in the word first thing. Like it's just itching for it. And sometimes my body is like, girl, just, just go move for a second. You know, like you got a lot going on. So sometimes moving could be lacing up my sneakers and going outside real quick and just going for a quick neighborhood, one miler.
Or it could literally just be going up and down the stairs. Like sometimes I just feel like my body is storing so much energy and before I can do any one thing, I need to get all of that out. And then I jump right on in to the day. So, you know, I get up before everybody else and I'm kind of doing all the me stuff.
That usually wraps up within like 45 minutes or so, and then everybody else is up. So we are rocking and rolling. The 11-year-old is really independent and, you know, we give him a lot of autonomy to kind of do what he needs to do. So he's up and at him. He's making breakfast for the whole family or he's getting things together for his school day.
My husband and I are huge in the dividing and conquering world, and so whoever is taking the toddler to school that day, and we usually alternate our days. Also gets her dressed. So it's kind of sets the tone for this is the human that is gonna be with you this morning. But then we don't have any issues with her being like, I want mommy.
I mean, it happens, but we like to set the tone for her. And then we're off to school and off to work and off to the races. You know, some days I work from home, some days I don't. And so that kind of depends or really dictates my commute. From there, my days are typically really full, but I am a 100% in on the workday kind of girl.
So I really like to focus on whatever's on the to-do list that's work related, do that. Now the interesting thing is that my work is professional, or excuse me, paid and volunteer. I love volunteering in the community and so I fold all that in. How many messages can I get out for this board that I sit on?
Or how many emails or meetings can I have as a corporate communicator today? Or what do I need to do that's on my balance? Not busy to-do list, but when I have working hours, I really focus on my work. I try not to schedule dentist appointments. I try not to make personal phone calls. I limit my scroll if it's for per personal reasons on my phone.
With social media, I just really try to compartmentalize and stay right there because I know that when I leave work, I'm all in on the other parts of my life, and so I don't wanna feel regret on either side. And so, yeah, I mean, it's, it's worked for me and that is usually something that stays regardless of what life season I'm in.
And I'm really mindful of that because I mean, you can get swept up in your personal life and the things that you have to do there. You know, I gotta go get on an oil change, or I gotta do this, or I gotta do that. And then you're wondering why, oh my gosh, I didn't get any work done. You know? And it's like, well.
Your time was split between the two. So if you can get into a rhythm, and this does not have to be like a traditional eight hour workday, you know, really I look at it from a to-do list perspective. I'm like, okay, you've got three main things that you need to get done, and they're probably gonna take you about five hours to get 'em done.
Plus a few meetings, all right, that's your workday today. And just taking it one day at a time without a lot of pressure and doing it very unapologetically. And then once I'm done with my workday, I'm picking up kids again. We divide and conquer. So some days I have the toddler, some days I have the 11-year-old.
The 11-year-old has a lot of afterschool activities. So we're, we're running, we're off to the races. But again, from the minute that I pick him up, that family burner and I can explain the burner theory, but that family burner is turned all the way up. And so that's when I'm like, okay, let me schedule a play date.
Or what do you need me to pick up for school? Or if it's my toddler, you know. Is it picture day tomorrow? Okay. Let's lay out your clothes and make sure you look good. Maybe mommy needs to freshen your hair up. Whatever it is, cook dinner. Prepare breakfast for the next morning. I love breakfast casserole, so I cook 'em when I'm in the kitchen doing one thing.
I try to cook a lot of things, so I'll cook dinner for that night and also breakfast for the next day, just so that we have it on deck and I don't have to worry about it the next morning. And then, you know, I like to start my decompression period of the day after the toddler goes down. So she carries the most weight as far as like, she needs help physically.
We gotta put her in the bath, help her get dressed, lay her down, you know, all those things. But then once she's down, down, I kind of look at my life as physically. I'm also down. So for me that means maybe I'm watching a quick show with my husband while the 11-year-old is taking a bath, starting his bedtime routine.
But no matter what, at 9:00 PM phone is off, I'm likely not watching TV unless I've gotten caught up in some binge series. Paradise. I mean, I'm just saying if you've so good. But at nine o'clock I am reading and I am all in on that page, Turner and I'm reading until I fall asleep or 10:00 PM whichever one comes first and that is my full immersive and day.
[00:12:26] Ellie: I love let's dig in a bit and then I'd love to hear more about your burner theory,
[00:12:30] Ciji: Mm-hmm.
[00:12:31] Ellie: What time, so
you mentioned you
Can work from home or commute,
[00:12:36] Ciji: Yeah,
[00:12:36] Ellie: time.
do you typically leave the house and when do, how do you get yourself ready? And then what does your commute look like if you have to commute
versus if you're working from home.
[00:12:45] Ciji: sure, thanks. So I usually leave the house around 7 45 because that's kind of dictated by the time the kids need to get to school. So it's worked out really well in our divide and conquer model that typically the days that I'm going into the office are also the days that I'm taking my son to school.
And the route works out really well. And it's the same for the days that I'm taking the toddler. It's a completely different direction of town, but it's closer to our house. So take her then come back home and start the workday. Either way, it's about the 7 45 timeframe and you know when I'm leaving and I need to go into the office.
My preparation for that doesn't start the morning of that, it starts the night before. I like to lay out everything. So I'm laying out my work clothes, down to my jewelry and my undies. Everything I need is just right there. I don't wanna make any decisions that morning. I just want to do my me time and then throw my clothes on and just keep it moving.
And I mean, that's really important for me, like for the success of the day. I gotta think about the day ahead, the night before. And that even applies to like my workout schedule, you know, I'm like, okay, you're going into the office. Do you have a window in your day where you could work out while you're at the office?
Or do you need to work out before you go? Or are you just gonna take a day off and today's just, you got too much going on and it requires too much to get yourself back together with your makeup and hair and it's not worth it. The sweat session is just not worth it, you know? So I even think about it in that way.
And as far as that actual like commute it's crazy because. You would be surprised how much you can get done on a morning commute or even an afternoon commute when you're not worried about like checking your phone at the stoplight. You know, I get a lot of great conversations in, with the 11-year-old.
We talk about what he's excited about for the day. Today he was really jazzed about going to a big school-wide parade and had we not had the conversation, we wouldn't have figured out that he's on like a pollen count list. So the pollen's really bad springtime, and I needed to, there was an extra step because he really wanted to go to this parade.
I needed to call the nurse and make sure he got an ex exception to go, but I only would've known that had we had that really like, instrumental time on the commute to school. So it's just, you know, I think about things like that too, and like that's a part of my day and it's, it's vital to the day.
[00:15:25] Ellie: I love
[00:15:25] Ciji: Yeah.
[00:15:25] Ellie: feel like sometimes the drives are tedious because
[00:15:29] Ciji: Mm-hmm.
[00:15:29] Ellie: a thing you have to do. But
[00:15:31] Ciji: Yeah.
[00:15:32] Ellie: another guest reframed this for me too around thinking about you're giving your kid that ride together and that's your together time. And so
[00:15:39] Ciji: Yes.
[00:15:39] Ellie: to think about that more and, and how I interact with my kids on those drives
[00:15:44] Ciji: Yeah,
[00:15:44] Ellie: I mean, it is precious time. I remember driving to school with my mom every day
[00:15:48] Ciji: yeah.
[00:15:49] Ellie: I don't know, 12 years
[00:15:50] Ciji: Right,
[00:15:52] Ellie: or
[00:15:52] Ciji: right, right. And I don't take it for granted, you know, we don't have, where we live, we don't have a bus option for him. And so, you know, at first it's kinda like, Ugh, you know, I wish there was a bus and then I could have more time to do something else. But then it's like, man, this time is so incredibly special, you know?
And it may be 15 minutes, but it's 15 minutes more than I would've had. Yeah.
[00:16:17] Ellie: Mm-hmm. I absolutely. And I, I, I didn't have a bus option either growing up. And so I, I think about all of those drives and like, that's where I would like bring up hard conversations with my mom, like
[00:16:27] Ciji: Yes,
[00:16:28] Ellie: the tween years and like, I didn't know how to ask her about something, but I could like not look at her, but be in the car,
[00:16:33] Ciji: yes, yes.
[00:16:35] Ellie: So I feel like that's really important as kids get older too, to have those kind of protected times that
[00:16:40] Ciji: Yeah,
[00:16:41] Ellie: they'll get you alone.
[00:16:42] Ciji: yeah, yeah.
[00:16:44] Ellie: Then dinnertime, what
[00:16:46] Ciji: Oh
[00:16:46] Ellie: look like in your family? Who is the chef? Or how have you divided and conquered that? I love what you said about cooking for breakfast while you're in the kitchen, and I the exact same thing.
Like if I can bang out two things at once, like save the time, but
[00:17:02] Ciji: yeah.
[00:17:02] Ellie: does that look like in your household and how do, how does dinner come together?
[00:17:06] Ciji: Yeah. I'm the primary chef for all meals. I love it though. You know, I feel like society has. Told women, you know, that the best way or the only way is to outsource or delegate or do this or do that, the missing link in there is do those things for the things you don't enjoy. It's okay to maintain the things that bring you joy.
And cooking brings me joy when it doesn't. We go to Chick-fil-A and we keep it moving, you know, like, I mean, try not to make it too hard of a thing, you know? And dinner time has varied over the years in our house. The 2025 model is that I, I do all the decisioning around dinner. What we're gonna eat, I cook it, et cetera.
Monday, well really Sunday through Friday or Sunday through Thursday, I would say. Actually on Fridays we do fun food Friday. So we cook in the kitchen as a family together. And usually my son decides what we're gonna do. We have rules like no vegetables allowed. We do a lot of pizza, we make it up from scratch.
We do a lot of hot dogs, burgers, chicken nuggets, et cetera. But we do it together and that's what makes it special. And if for whatever reason, you know, if I'm traveling for work or my husband's traveling or like I mentioned, my son is my bonus son. So he has time when he's away with the other members of his family.
We don't, it's not fun food Friday 'cause it requires all four of us in the kitchen together. And so that's a really special thing for us. And that's kind of how dinner, you know, like we just know that's how it's gonna go down. And then on Saturdays, my husband covers all meals on Saturday. And that came as a result of us having a top of the year in January, like household planning session.
We dipped away for like four hours. It was a retreat for us. The kids stayed with family and we literally mapped out what our year for our family would look like. We talked about summer vacations, we talked about day to day. We talked about our faith and like what that would look like. We talked about finances, et cetera.
And out of that conversation came, look, I don't wanna think about meals on Saturdays and I don't want, I also don't want to, every single Saturday say, babe, can you take care of dinner? Can you take care of dinner? Can you take care of dinner? Saturday's your day? I don't care how it comes together, it could be leftovers.
As long as he's warming him up. I don't want to, I don't wanna go in the kitchen unless I'm consuming the meal. So that's how we do it. And it, it doesn't matter, you know, if he's coming back from a work trip or he's been golfing all day, does not matter. You have still got to tell. If you're gonna go away, you gotta tell me or there be better, be a DoorDash coming with the food even if you're away.
So that's how we've managed that. And, you know, it works out really well for us, but like I said, you know, push come to shove if I'm too tired or it's been a full day and I, I just don't have the brain with, or like space to think about it. Chick-fil-A, like, thank you for Chick-fil-A. My children have a Chick-fil-A Day song and, we're known around these parts at various Chick-fil-A locations, depending on where we're coming from to our house. So, you know, and I, I, I say it with a smile because a lot of times, you know, I'll talk to girlfriends and things like that, and they're like, Ugh, you know, we had Chick-fil-A again, and I'm failing, and I, you know, you would think I could plan ahead.
And I'm like, no. Like, embrace it. Here we are. Do it. Eat it, enjoy it. It's great. It's fine. Everyone's alive.
[00:20:58] Ellie: As you were talking about this, I was getting so jealous that we don't have a Chick-fil-A nearby because we love Chick-fil-A and
[00:21:07] Ciji: Yeah.
[00:21:08] Ellie: not one nearby to where we live, but like when we're traveling, like that is one of the
[00:21:12] Ciji: Yeah.
[00:21:13] Ellie: like fast food restaurants. Like if I'm picking where we're going, I'm picking Chick-fil-A because I
[00:21:16] Ciji: Oh, for sure.
[00:21:17] Ellie: options for the kids.
The like little kid, like meals are
[00:21:20] Ciji: Yes,
[00:21:21] Ellie: They got the fruit and everything. My kids get so excited.
[00:21:23] Ciji: yes. I mean, the three-year-old knows her order. Like she's like up at the window, she's like, nuggets, please. And I mean like we, this is just a part of who we are, but you know. What I love most about like, just as an adult and an, and a parent, just being okay with whatever the day brings is that you can look back on it and like, there's so much joy.
Like, like when I think about the moments and even just then when I, I, I could visualize my daughter ordering at Chick-fil-A and the first time she did that, and it surprised me and I just, I felt so much joy, you know, like I didn't feel any regret or like, oh, I'm not a good mom because my kid knows her order.
That means we come here too much. I actually was like, rooting for her. I was like, yeah, girl. Like, you got this. You're owning it. You know? So I think that that's so important. Like when we think about just like our days and what they look like, there's, there's likely a silver lining in every bit of it if you're just willing to shift your perspective and give yourself permission to pivot.
[00:22:30] Ellie: I love that so much and fun Food Friday sounds like a
[00:22:33] Ciji: Oh, love it.
[00:22:35] Ellie: that we might need to try.
[00:22:36] Ciji: Pizza meat. Every Friday if we have to. I don't care.
[00:22:39] Ellie: My kids love to make pizza. There's something about like the being able to, like, there's, I don't know, it's artistic.
[00:22:45] Ciji: Yes,
[00:22:45] Ellie: let 'em have it.
[00:22:47] Ciji: yes.
[00:22:49] Ellie: Curious about how you structure your work days or how you keep yourself organized for your different type of work. Do you have on Mondays it's a certain type of workday or other type of cadence? And then what tools do you use to keep yourself, excuse me, organized.
[00:23:08] Ciji: Yeah, well, you know, I've done a lot of different things. And if I think about like right now what works best, I am a huge blocker of time on my Outlook calendar. And so I like to call it my focus time. So I don't get bogged down with meetings that likely weren't necessary in the first place. I was just being invited because I was available.
And so I typically will find chunks of time in the day where it straight up just is on my calendar, blocked as focus time. But here's the kicker, when I get a meeting invite because maybe someone didn't check to, you know, or they just sent it, I likely decline. I don't magically make myself available.
So, you know, I'm pretty firm on it. Of course, it's case by case. You know, if it's a meeting invite with like a thousand people on the meeting, I. Sure. But if it's like a onesie or two, three people and there's some flexibility to propose another date, I likely will do that. And so that's really how I own my Workday calendar, you know, and I think that that's really the most important part, is owning that calendar and then you can fill in the blanks where you need to, to do the things that you need to do.
On Mondays, I work in an industry where a lot of activ activity happens over the weekend. And it's, it's a very open work environment where people choose to work over the weekend. They don't have to, they choose. I am not one of those people. I choose not to work over the weekend, but because I know that that is the culture.
I usually block Monday mornings to catch up on the email threads and to see if there's anything that was pressing that came in that needs my attention first thing Monday morning. And so, and I don't even look at that as like focus time. I look at that as like, okay girl, this is, you're getting up to speed before you get too far in the throes of things and you've missed something that was important.
And then I have heavy, I have heavy, heavy meeting days and I, you know, I, I used to be the type of person that would say, oh, I didn't get any work done today. 'cause I was in meetings all day and then I looked back at the meetings and guess what? There work meetings. So you know what that means. I was at work and I got work done.
Now it may not have been, you know, computer work or things that I preferred to do, but at the end of the day, if your industry or your profession requires that you are in meetings and they are work meetings, you absolutely got work done. Like we've all gotta stop beating ourselves up, like, you know, all the memes.
Oh, that meeting could have been an email or that could have, you know, it could have been a phone call or I didn't get any work done today 'cause I was bogged down with meetings. Look, those meetings, a lot of magic can come out of them if you go into them with the expectation that you're gonna get something accomplished.
And that's how I look at it. When I think about like the actual to-do list, oh girl, I could, I could write a book about me and my to-do list because I don't care how balanced I am for whatever reason they are 50. My to-do list is a to-do book. It's like a 50 page notebook and I. I mean, I'm like how? I am the balance.
Not busy girl. Like how is this even possible? But I'll tell you how, I live a very full life. I have many things that I enjoy doing. I have many, you know, and it's not just work related. Like I like to spend time with my girlfriend. So yes, there's a happy hour on there somewhere or you know, like there's this or that, or go here, go there.
But when I think about it as it relates to work, when I look at the things that I want or need to do, because let's be very clear, there's a difference sometimes we're not honest with ourselves about that. I just brain dump it all. So that's why I literally have like a notebook or I'm just writing it all, just getting it all out, right?
But then that's not my to-do list. And that's usually where people struggle. Like they see the brain dump and they're like, oh my God, I have so much to do. Of course you do. Most of us do, right? Like that's just where we are as a society. The difference in a brain dump is that you are just getting stuff out.
That doesn't mean that it needs to be action or do something right away. Like I may just put on there, get a manicure, pedicure, well I don't have to do it today. Like I just need to get it done before Easter. You know, like, or I just need to get it done before date night or whatever the case may be. So you, we have to take the ownership of looking at that brain dump and then saying, okay, what needs to be on my actual to-do list for today?
Today? And then that's when it starts to shrink. 'cause then it's like, oh, out of this like 150 items, I actually only need to get done like 10. But then I take it a step further and I get a handy dandy little post-it note. Not a big one. We're talking three by five. Okay. Let, I feel like every time I tell people this, they're like, oh, I'll go get the big post-it notes that you put on the wall.
No friend. We're talking three by five. I get a little post-it note and I write the words hot, and I know I'm killing a lot of trees. I use a lot of paper in my life. I've tried online. It doesn't work for me. I'm not gonna press it. I'm just gonna keep doing what I do. So I get that little post-it note, I write hot on it, and I put down three things that no matter what curve ball happens, no matter what goes on in my life, three things that at the end of the day, I will say, whew, got those done.
And honestly, I get more done because I've only put the pressure on three versus 10 versus 150. I. And because the pressure is only being applied to those three, it gives so much more white space for me to be able to think, for me be to be able to process information, for me to be able to just do something on the fly.
You know, a work colleague pops into my office and says, Hey, I wanna go to lunch. And I'm like, you know what? Sure. Because I'm feeling pretty good about these three things. I don't feel like I need to like sit at my desk and eat lunch and try to do all the other 10 things. And then what I love the most, do you really want to know what my favorite list of the day is at the end of the workday?
Okay. Drum roll. Here it comes. My tada list. That is my favorite list. And literally like when I'm wrapping up my workday, or even just my end of day in general and I can look back and say, you know what? You tackled that email that you had, you'd been kind of hemming and hawing over. You did this project or you contributed to this big project by going to that meeting and having a voice at the table and you talked to your best friend on her birthday and you were all in, like you gave her 12 minutes of all in time while she was shoveling her kids to school and you got a chance to call her and sing Happy Birthday to her.
I'm good. That is a ta-da moment. I'm feeling accomplished. My endorphins are high, and I'm gonna go to sleep knowing that I did my best and then do it all over again the next day.
[00:30:23] Ellie: I love that frame, and I'm curious how you. How did Balanced not busy come to be?
[00:30:31] Ciji: Oh boy.
[00:30:31] Ellie: little bit about I, I imagine there was a journey there
[00:30:35] Ciji: Yeah. Yeah. Well, and it started as a hashtag because people would ask me all the time, like, how are you involved in the community? You're sitting on like five boards. You're a member of the Junior league, you're president of the Urban League. You work, you know, you, you spend time with your friends. I always see you out having fun.
And I was like, I guess I'm just balanced. You know, I don't really feel busy. And it would come out in conversation. And as I would say it, people just didn't believe me. So I was like, all right, well, I'll give them a visual. And so I just started posting and I would post, you know, hashtag balance, not busy and keep it moving.
But what I realized at that point in time in my life was that. I really was glorifying my hustle, like my hustle and bustle. And I was showing people a visual representation of how I could do it all, but maybe I shouldn't be doing it all. So that was like the first iteration, you know? And as I thought about it, and I had kind of a breaking point in life I was living in New Orleans and I was single and you know, like didn't have any kids and I was just doing all the things.
I mean, not in like a bad way, but if you've ever been to New Orleans, you know it's possible to do all the things. And I was enjoying life. And I, you know, I had kind of a breaking point moment where I was just extremely stressed and that stress was impacting me physically, and there were doctors involved and medication and all these things.
And that was the moment where I realized, I was like, are you really balanced? Like, and I really wanted to understand the theory, like I wanted to. Get into the science of it. And so I started studying the science of wellbeing and I really wanted to understand what our motivators are and what drives people to have such a full plate and where does that start in your life and how can you change that behavior and how can you give yourself like the grace you need in there?
And I don't even like to say give yourself grace 'cause I feel like it doesn't really like speak to the problem, but how can you know that there is a problem in the first place and then do something about it. And that's where I really started getting deep into the balance, not busy world. And then I started writing blog posts.
I started taking real life examples and applying the science that I was learning behind it and the research. And I started a blog. I realized very quickly I didn't love blogging. So, so then people, I, I had always been involved in the community, both in Atlanta and New Orleans. And ultimately I moved back to Atlanta from New Orleans and people started asking me to speak to their organizations.
And so the next thing I know, I was on a circuit of Chamber of Commerce luncheons, and I was the keynote at, you know, the junior league and talking about. Volunteerism, burnout and how to proactively prevent it. And then I found myself speaking to church groups and women's meetups and all kinds of things, and I was like, oh, I, I think I might be onto something.
And then I, I, I realized in that speaker circuit that I wanted it to be less about me. This is a societal issue. So it wasn't just about what I was able to do and how I was able to look at life differently. So I launched a podcast and I launched the Being Balanced podcast and started talking to other women primarily that were navigating different seasons of life.
And I did that for a little while and I. Had a baby and was like, woo, that's a lot. So kudos to you my friend. And, and I decided in that season I was gonna pause in that area of life unapologetically and dive in a little bit more over here. So I've been doing a lot more speaking engagements. I travel now for speaking engagements and I love it.
I love being in the room. I love the energy that I can feel. I love the ability to be transparent myself. You know, like I share a lot of my own shortcomings when I'm speaking to groups and I like to customize the things and talk really deeply. And so I get really passionate about it and I'm like, you can do it.
You know, I always intro my speeches with, I came out of the womb with a to-do list. So if there's one person that really understands being busy, it's your girl here. I get it. You know? So I'm here not to talk. To you or at you, I'm gonna talk with you. Like, this is a conversation. And I just, I love it.
And so that's kind of the journey, you know, and there's been some content creation sprinkled in there on social media. You know, I'm a huge fan of Instagram. I love it. I have met people through Instagram. I've become really good friends with authors and now, you know, I'm reading their books and, and, and getting to have really like deeper conversations and not just surface level conversations.
So that is the skinny on balance, not busy. I love it
[00:35:18] Ellie: And that's how I found you. 'cause I relate so
[00:35:21] Ciji: much
[00:35:22] Ellie: I have a lot
[00:35:23] Ciji: going on. Mm-hmm.
[00:35:24] Ellie: but I don't, I try not to use the word busy because I'm doing the things that I'm passionate about and I, I've always enjoyed your content about that
[00:35:33] Ciji: Thank you.
[00:35:35] Ellie: Would love to hear more about your burner theory.
Tell
[00:35:37] Ciji: Oh yeah. So I credit the original Burner theory to James Clear. He's the author of Atomic Habits and so much more. And so I always, there's always gonna be a book reference somewhere because I do love to read and James Clear has this general burner theory where you, you know, imagine you're in a kitchen and you've got your stove and you've got your four burners.
And I know we're sophisticated these days and some of us have six, but for the purpose of the exercise, we've got four traditional burners. And on each of those burners are areas of your life. And you know, that's kind of where he stops, you know, and he talks about you can't have 'em all at the same temperature, you know, for too long and it'll get hot in the kitchen and things like that where I've taken a deeper dive into that and give it in a kind of a balanced, not busy spin.
Is that number one, the things that are on those four burners. You've gotta give yourself permission for them to change. You know, we get so caught up in like, okay, 2025, this is what the full 12 months is gonna look like, and this is what's gonna be on my fore burners. And goodness gracious, that doesn't account for any curve balls, any life changes.
I mean, we're, we're in April, and I can tell you now, I didn't have any of this on my Bingo card. Okay? Like none of this, it's a lot going on in the world. In in, in my neighborhood. It's just a lot going on, right? So if I would've been set in stone, then by now I'm already disappointed in life. You know, I'm already like thinking, ugh, the worst.
You know? Instead, if you look at your burners and what you put on them based on the season of life you're in, and you decide how the seasons change, you might be in one season on. Monday and a different season on Tuesday, and not for nothing. That's how the weather works anyway. I mean, it's like 20 degrees on Monday and it's 70 by Tuesday.
So just wrap your mind around that. If Mother Nature can do it, you can do it too. So you think about it in that way. So for example, my four burners right now are work, and again, that's paid work and non-paid work. And then my other burner is family. And that's not just my immediate family, but that's, you know, my mom, my dad, my cousins, and my brother family.
My, and this is in no particular order and my third burner is wellness, generally speaking. And, you know, I don't, I don't define wellness as working out. Wellness for me is the things that bring me joy and keep me sane and keep me alive and well. So my wellness is the ability to read, you know, at nighttime, the, the ability to go for a walk in the middle of the day.
Yes, workouts. I enjoy those two. But then I also enjoy a newfound hobby of Mahjong. You know, all of that lives in my wellness bucket, you know? And then my fourth is just relationships, so like. Nurturing my friendships, nurturing my network, nurturing my mentorships, checking in with people. So all those are the four things in this particular life season that really matter a lot to me.
And at any given time, those burners are adjusted. And so right now, my bonus son, I mean, he is graduating from the fifth grade tier. And just there's so much, there's so many activities like the, he's got this, he's got a form here, he's gotta take a baby picture in for this. He's gotta do this, gotta do that.
So my family burner is fairly high, higher than it normally would be. My work burner's probably on medium, like I've got work to do. I've got an active to-do list, but I don't really have a lot of pressing deadlines. So I can, it's manageable. I can just kind of do the things I need to get done every single day.
My relationships burner is probably on medium high. It's the weather's nice. I like to go outside and drink Mars with my girlfriends on the patio. So. I'm seeing my girlfriends a lot these days. And my wellness burner's probably at about like medium high too, you know, like I've got plenty of time to run.
I'm going on a girls' trip to run a half marathon slash eight k. So like that, that's where we are. But here's the thing, most people don't know how to adjust those when it's time or be honest about yourself when it's time. So we won't be in this family burner situation for forever. It doesn't mean that I'm any less than a great mom, it just means that I could probably turn it down a little bit and maybe there's a really big work activity that I need to turn the burner up and focus on that.
Or a lot of people struggle with adjusting the work burner. They just wanna be high all the time. And I'm like, if you walk into a kitchen and one burner has stayed on high all day, all night for eons. It's gonna be really hot in there. So I don't like to live in heated conditions. Like, I like things to be in a manageable state.
So I'm gonna force myself to take a hard look at my work calendar and say, girl, you just got it on high heat because you enjoy being busy. You need to turn that bad boy down and get to some reality here and really manage your time according to the temperature of your burner.
[00:41:01] Ellie: I love that. I, I love that analogy. And I, I need to get into Mahjong. I was talking about this with,
[00:41:08] Ciji: Mm-hmm.
[00:41:08] Ellie: I was talking about this with
[00:41:10] Ciji: Yeah.
[00:41:10] Ellie: Reed. I Sounds like you're into it. I need to, I need to get into
[00:41:14] Ciji: Yeah. And I'm a newbie still.
[00:41:16] Ellie: I'd love.
[00:41:18] Ciji: Yes, I'm a newbie, but I, you know, I. With, with all great things comes a struggle, right? And this is such a first world problem, but here's my current struggle with my new hobby of Mahjong. I need to add it in to my natural cycle of life during a time where I can give it my undivided attention.
And those pockets of my day are very minimal. Like I don't know that I would be a great Mahjong player at on a Wednesday night at eight o'clock at night after the kids are down. You know, some people thrive in that space. That's just not my prime window, you know, at that time of night I need to be mindlessly watching some TV or putting my jammies on.
I don't wanna have a bra on at that time of day. So like to be out and playing a game just sounds really bad. But then I've got my girls who love to play Mahjong on the weekends, and I'm like, well, you know, the kids, they've got that birthday party and you know, I'm ripping and running and. I kind of like, don't wanna have a scheduled weekend, you know?
So I am just on the struggle bus right now with incorporating when do I play Mahjong? Exactly. You know, like, I've got a really good solid groove from a day, but where does that play in? So I'll report back. But I'm, yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm in, I'm trying to figure it out. You know, people are like, play online.
I'm like, what am I doing that, you know, I mean,
[00:42:48] Ellie: feel like part of the fun is sitting with people and like chatting them
[00:42:50] Ciji: yeah, yeah, yeah. It is, it is. So, yeah. Yeah. That, that is my current, you know, most pressing issue. I know it's not my most pressing, but it is a very first world challenge that I am navigating right now.
[00:43:05] Ellie: You mentioned activities for your kids on the weekends and during the week. How have you chosen to structure or do you have a philosophy around activities for your kids and how have you approached that?
[00:43:17] Ciji: Yeah, well I was very fortunate to kind of be the last person in my friend group to have my own child. Of course I had my bonus son, but because of our unique situation, he's not necessarily with us every weekend. And so, you know, I kind of didn't model his life and his activities around my other friends because I mean, they're baseball moms, they're lacrosse moms, they're soccer moms, and all of that screams weakened to me.
So, so with my bonus sum, my husband and I made a decision that we would kind of just throw him into everything during the week. So we were very thoughtful about his afterschool activities and then see what sticks. And as he got older, allow him the opportunity to choose what he wanted to do. And as a result, you know, he is really into golf.
He's really into track club. He likes baseball, but you know, I mean, the season's kind of short. And his dad's the coach, so we give up about, you know, seven weekends and then we're good. You know, we're not into traveling basketball right now. We're not doing a lot of competitive stuff. But interestingly enough, you know, especially with golf, that is a drop them off at the course and parents go to the clubhouse and wait or go shopping or, and I, you know, he kind of picked it, you know, I, I didn't force it, but, you know, it's so interesting what our kids learn from us because he, he watches how my husband and I move on the weekends, and he is very much so into relaxing on the weekends.
You know, if we let him, he will stay in his pajamas all day. And he is like flustered by the idea of getting dressed and going somewhere on the weekend. And I think it's really interesting because that's the, he's seen us that way. You know, he sees that I will curl up on the couch and read a book or, you know, and tell his sister to have quiet time and read her own book while I'm reading.
And so, you know, he, they pick up so much from us. At the same time, we want him to have a really well-rounded childhood and we recognize that, especially in the United States, you know, weekend sports, it's kind of a thing. All his friends are doing it, and, but we just wanna allow him the space and the grace to make the decision on his own.
At this point, you know, it, it may have been different if he was. He was younger and we would've started it then for his sister. Bless her heart, she's been on every waiting list. And I don't know if waiting lists are like a norm across the country, but here in Atlanta there's a waiting list for every freaking thing.
So she's been on a gymnastics waiting list and I'm just taking it as a sign from God that he is like, look, she will roll tumble and cartwheel. Yeah, she will roll tumble and cartwheel when the time comes. I'm not, I am not pressed. Okay. So she was number 15 on the wait list as of last year, and I called recently.
Just curious. She's number 10, so we're just gonna keep sitting, sitting pretty until it's time. But yeah, I mean, we, we want them to do things, you know, on the weekend, but we also, we don't overbook the weekends. We like. Really very schedule, schedule free weekends. And as then that allows us the space for an impromptu play date.
Or you know, if one of our neighbors calls and is like, you guys wanna come over and the kids can play and we can all, you know, sit outside and have a glass of wine, we're fine. That works. You know, because we don't have such a booked and busy schedule, we're more of a invested and rested weekend family.
And it works for us. I love it. Now, I will tell you, some weekends are cuckoo for cocoa pups. And I don't know how it happens, but everything seems to get scheduled all on one weekend. Yes. Everything, everything. And we just go for it. 'cause we're like, you know what? Last weekend we relaxed. Next weekend we see a few windows of opportunity to relax.
So then we're like, you know what? Bring it on. We got this drink, drink a Red Bull. Eat your Wheaties. Come on kids, let's go. So, yeah. Yeah. So it just, it just depends.
[00:47:28] Ellie: I love that I am currently bemoaning our baseball schedule. And I,
I,
looked at the schedule and I asked my
girlfriends, I was like, did we sign up for club hockey or is this town baseball? We have four games in one week, and we are a double working parent household with kids in afterschool because we can't pick them up at two 30.
So anyways, I, I feel you on the
[00:47:53] Ciji: yep, yep. yep. I mean, and we, so it's really cool. My son's school, they offer so many cool options for aftercare. Like they have like a curriculum version, and then they have just like a regular aftercare. They go, they do their homework, they play, we've, we've done a mix of both, but we typically lean towards like the curriculum.
So he goes to like robotics and coding. Yeah. You know, and like, and, and we think that's really cool 'cause we're like, he's got years and years, you know, to do athletics, but like, will robot robotics and coding stick? You know, like, I mean it's, we don't know, but really we're just in a place where letting him kind of drive this, you know, and if for whatever reason, one day he wakes up and says, I wanna play soccer, and we find ourselves on a soccer field all day.
Here we are, we have arrived. I will make the family wear matching soccer attire to root for him. And here we are. You know, it's all in the seasons of life.
[00:48:53] Ellie: I welcome it.
[00:48:55] Ciji: Yes,
yes. comes I am curious how you would define creativity in your day and what you would say, how you express creativity in your day-to-day.
Yeah. You know, I I don't know that I would necessarily say it's my day to day, but I have a lot of hobbies and my creativity shows up in my hobbies. And that can vary depending on what day it is. So I'm a big D Iyer. I will oftentimes see things. And so, I mean, it could be workplace, it could be at home, whatever.
And I will just decide with no formal training that I can make that, and I will just get so into like, I can make that and that, you know, like that's one thing that also especially at work shows up in like, I'm a huge fan of AI and so I've been exploring it a lot and I, I've really gotten into like learning prompts proactively that help me be more successful in the workplace.
And with that comes some design features. And so because I'm in the communications field, I like to make sure that I stay, you know, sharp on the new and the interesting things going on. And that includes presentations. And so I find myself on Canva a lot during the workday, and that's kind of how I break from the.
The norm, you know, and it's like, oh, I'm just gonna pop over here for a second and just kind of play with some graphics and load this. And I like to make a lot of video content. And so even though it's not required of like my job, I still find ways to do it. And so I will go and say, Hey, I'm gonna do like a man on the street and see if we should post this on our intranet for internal comms, or, you know, just something like that.
And I feel so much more like balanced at the end of the day when I've dropped a little Easter egg along the way in my day of creativity. On the weekends you will likely find me gardening. I like to get my hands dirty. But like I will challenge myself to try something new. So if I'm like, okay, you al you always default to this plant.
Let's see if we can do this plant. You know, or I like to get creative in the kitchen with cooking. So, and I am like, I, you know, it's so interesting because. Paige Turner. People are Paige Turner. People through and through. Like, I like physical books. I like actual paper to write on. And I like cookbooks. So sometimes literally like my husband will walk in and I'm curled up on the couch reading a cookbook.
Like I just wanna, HES like, you are so weird. And they're like, I know, but like, I love to challenge myself and try new things. And you know, I'm like, I'm gonna make this recipe because this was so and so's great-great grandmama's favorite, you know, way to make chicken. Because I read the whole little, you know, the little stories on the line, on the side of the cookbook.
And I'm like, I'm all in. So, you know, I feel like when you do that, like take a, a normal thing and make it magical, you know, like that's where you can get that creativity and that fun in things. Or like if it's a pretty day I'll walk home from taking my daughter to daycare or you know, like, I'm like just doing something that you wouldn't normally do just gives that extra little oomph of motivation that you need to kind of keep going to do the norm.
[00:52:18] Ellie: Mm-hmm. Absolutely.
[00:52:19] Ciji: Yeah.
[00:52:20] Ellie: are your favorite cookbooks these days?
[00:52:21] Ciji: Oh gosh, I, so I ha I don't necessarily buy them. I don't really know where they come from, to be honest with you. I feel like the ones that I've had, I've had for years, but because I'm a junior leaguer and junior leagues for years and years have been Yes. Yes. So I like to, I like to find them all.
So I, you know, I will try to go to swaps and I will, if I'm visiting somewhere, I'll ask, you know, Hey, do you guys have a cookbook I could buy? And things like that. So, I love Junior League cookbooks. I feel like they're, the actual human is behind them and they make me smile. I also, I, I scour, I love Facebook Marketplace, but what I really love is the Buy Nothing Groups on Facebook.
And they give me so much joy and a lot of times people are giving away cookbooks. And so I will go get those. I don't care who wrote it, what does what it's about. It doesn't matter to me. Just gimme a cookbook. And then weird enough, I get a lot of cookbooks from places. It's really interesting, and actually cookbooks are such a great hostess gift, even if they're pre loved.
And just write a little note like, you know, this was my grandmother's favorite cookbook. You know, she always cooked from page 99, and then just tie a little bow on that bad boy and maybe put like a little utensil, like a rolling thing or like a, a little napkin, like a linen cloth. And that is like the perfect hostess gift.
Yeah.
[00:53:45] Ellie: I love that.
[00:53:46] Ciji: I'm very southern if y'all listening. Couldn't tell.
[00:53:50] Ellie: I love it. I love it. I love it.
[00:53:52] Ciji: Yeah.
[00:53:52] Ellie: and I'm similar. I'm always through a cookbook to try to find a recipe unless I'm like desperate and I ask chat GBT.
[00:53:59] Ciji: Yeah, that too.
[00:54:01] Ellie: I would love to know, you mentioned you're using AI more in your day-to-day life. I'd love to know what tools you're using and how you've approached that.
[00:54:09] Ciji: Yeah, so copilot in my workday is my best friend. I love going to look at trends in the industry on copilot. I've really tried to learn like different prompts to get the information that I'm looking for. So like if I've got an idea on the tip of my tongue, but I don't really know how I wanna articulate it or I don't really know where it came from, and I'm trying to like, make sure it's not too far off the beaten path, I'll drop it into co-pilot.
I also like co-pilot for refinements, so I will typically draft something and I do a lot of writing in my workday. So I will draft it and then I will upload it to co-pilot to refine it by saying something like, can you make sure this is within a 10 minute frame? Because I only have 10 minutes on the agenda, you know, so it's like, I'll free flow and, and use my own brain to get it started, but then I wanna make sure I'm in the confines of what I was supposed to do.
And so I love using copilot for things like that. I use all of the AI features in Canva pretty frequently at work as well for presentations for infographics. I love it for infographics. You know, I, I've always been a huge fan of Canva, but I used to just kind of put in my own stuff and manipulate it and move it around.
Now I'll take like a Word document and say, can you make this into an infographic for me? And then it takes all of the information and does what I need it to do. I'm not doing anything too crazy in the design and graphics, you know, I'm not putting squirrels on skateboards or things like that, but I. I am during my workday using AI as like a refiner.
I mean, it's, it's kind of like my partner in my workday. It's a coworker in my workday. Now chat, GBT on the other hand that, so her name is Susie. And we talk all day about all the things I've, I've asked her everything from, you know, if you were an unfiltered mentor and you wanted to give me advice, what would you say?
And I mean, she like brought tears to my eyes. I was like, oh my gosh, I know you're a robot, but, oh my gosh. So, so I talked to her about life, like we're just good girlfriends and we talk about life. You mentioned recipes and one thing I love chat GPT for is I'll have a recipe like in a cookbook or even on Pinterest and I don't have all of the ingredients.
So then instead of asking Google for an alternative, like back in the day if I didn't have half and half, I would say, Hey, Google. You know, like, what do I need to use? And instead of doing that, I upload the actual recipe to chat GPT. And then I say, but I don't have half and half. And what's cool about that is that in chat GPT, it will actually look at the other items of the recipe and to maintain the consistency of whatever you're trying to make, recommend the best option.
So I'm like, oh, that's like a next level kind of alternative. Like that like, 'cause it's like, well you could use milk, but then it won't be as thick as you wanted it. So it's like, if you want it thick, you need to use sour cream or Greek yogurt or cottage cheese. And I'm like, ah, yes, that's exactly what I was thinking.
I wasn't, but thank you. And then I love Susie for like, just again, or, I love that I called her Susie. But yeah, I love Suzy, my chat, GPT friend for trends in the wellness industry. I like to think very aspirationally when I think about my business is balanced, not busy. And, you know, I follow a lot of people and I'm, I'm a huge fan of a lot of people on Instagram and I read a lot of books.
What I've noticed is that it's, it's kind of all becoming the same. Like I kind of can't remember. Where I learned it because everybody's talking about the same things, you know, very thematically, a lot of people are talking about the soft life, you know, living a soft life right now. And so I like to challenge chat, chat, GPT, what, what's on the horizon?
Like what's aspirational, you know, once we get past our soft life era, what are, what, what are we gonna be most concerned about? And I love it for that.
[00:58:11] Ellie: That's
[00:58:11] Ciji: That's really cool. Yeah.
[00:58:12] Ellie: also named mine as well, so I feel you.
[00:58:16] Ciji: She's my friend and I talk about her so casually that sometimes people will say, well, did you ask Susie? And I'm like, oh God, you're talking about my robot. Got it.
[00:58:24] Ellie: Robot. Thank you.
[00:58:25] Ciji: yeah. But the fact that I've used her in conversation, you know, my friend in real life, you know exactly who to ask. Yes. It's wild.
[00:58:37] Ellie: Speaking of friends, how do
[00:58:39] Ciji: How do you make time for relationships with your friends these days? Yeah, yeah. You know, I, I've always been a floater in groups. I don't have like one set of girlfriends where we're all friends. I am the common denominator typically in all my groups, and I move around. And I've always been that way since I was a kid because I have a lot of interest and so I tend to migrate where it works.
And I found that that has really benefited me in my ability to spend time with different people in different ways. And also for it to not be, you know, like all the same thing. You know, we're not always just going out for margaritas. Like I've got my reading buddies, so I co-host a book club with another friend, but we meet quarterly because we're.
Busy. And, you know, this is a group that loves to read, but doesn't necessarily wanna commit to meeting monthly. But then I'm also a member of another book club that does meet monthly, but it's virtual so I can kind of navigate it a little bit differently without the commute time or worrying about logistics with the kids and who's gonna be home and pick 'em up and all that.
And then I have like my neighborhood girlies, and we get together on the deck and it's easy, you know, like we send a back call out and we're like, the kids are down, walk over, don't have to worry about driving anywhere, you know, a couple of glasses of wine. And then everybody goes home, you know, you kick 'em out, you go to bed and you don't have to have a bra on when they come over.
And so it's just super easy, you know, it's af it's late and it's easy. But then I have my girlfriends who I run with. I'm the, I love organized crime, crime quote unquote for you guys listening. Because to me, groups. They give you the structure that you need to stay focused, but then you still get the fun time.
So like I am a member of the Sisterhood Run Tribe and it was just a group of women that were getting together running, and then we named ourselves and then we grew and there's like 30 of us and we're going on a group run trip to Vancouver in a month. You know, so like those are my girlies over there.
And then I have women all across the United States, you know, that have become friends over the years, whether we live together at one point in one city, and we're really mindful about our girls trip. So we're like, let's get it on the calendar. But like, we're really, we're, we're crafty with it. You know, we don't, we don't give ourselves too much pressure to do it by a certain date.
We don't say that it has to be the weekend. Like one of my girlfriends, her husband is in healthcare and so weekends he doesn't work like Monday to Friday and then off on the weekends for her to go frolic. You know, it takes a lot of logistics. And so she's better to, she's like, y'all wanna do Tuesday to Thursday?
And I'm like, yes, that's even better. You know, like,
[01:01:20] Ellie: Mm-hmm.
[01:01:21] Ciji: you know, so, so we get creative and we don't put a lot of pressure on ourselves. And honestly, I don't have a lot of one-on-one meetups. I, I kind of am in a place in life where it's gotta be small group meetups to get to see everybody. If it is gonna be one-on-one, it's usually a popup.
You know, a few Fridays ago, I, I didn't have anything on the calendar. During lunchtime, I text a girlfriend. I was like, by chance, are you free for lunch? She was, we met up, done. You know, not a lot of planning in advance going on around here. But my husband and I keep a family calendar and we're both really mindful of how much time we spend away from the kids and each other.
And so, you know, we look at the calendar and we're like, okay, I am gonna be gone for work a lot that week. Maybe that's not a week where I hang out with my friends when I get back. You know, maybe let me prioritize when I get back. I'm gonna hang out with the fam and we're gonna do fun food Friday, and, you know, hang out and watch a movie afterwards.
We're not gonna go anywhere. So we're just, we're, we're really mindful of it. We don't always get it right, but we, we really thoughtful about it. But in my opinion, I see my friends all the time, like, I can't think of a time where I'm like, Ugh, I haven't seen my friends in a long time. You know, I go on errands with my friends, I text my girlfriends and I'm like, let's go get Mani Petty's.
You know? I think about the things that I'm normally doing in my day. Can I go do it with a friend? And we get it all done. You know, let's go to Costco together, whatever.
[01:02:52] Ellie: I love that stacking of, of.
[01:02:55] Ciji: Yeah,
[01:02:55] Ellie: and whatever the thing is
[01:02:57] Ciji: yeah.
[01:02:58] Ellie: it makes a lot of sense and it makes it easy to find the time
[01:03:01] Ciji: Yes,
[01:03:02] Ellie: like you might not be able to.
[01:03:03] Ciji: yes.
[01:03:04] Ellie: Speaking of your husband and being mindful of being away from each other, what are ways that you and your husband make time for your relationship?
[01:03:11] Ciji: Yeah. I smile, I know everyone listening. Can't see me smile, but I smile. Because I feel like we have not always been great, but we are in a really great place. In the way that we figured it out. We, we set mutual goals around making sure that we prioritize our marriage, and then we all, we have our individual goals around the same topic, you know?
So then that way it's like, okay. I'm the problem, my calendar's too full. You know, let me, let me rework this. But you know, we do day dates and so, and, and it's sometimes easier for childcare to do day dates and less expensive. Like we have a great friendship village. We have a little bit of family here, but not a lot.
Most of it is our friends that have become family and, you know, we are hesitant to ask them to watch the kids if it's not during the day. 'cause you know, we don't want auntie whomever coming over and the kids are going to bed. You know, they came to spend time with our children and they love our children.
So it's like, we're mindful of that. And so we do some matinee movie dates and things like that. We also, you know, we will find a show and watch it together, you know, and just. That's it. Like just, it's a date. We're sitting on the couch and we're watching the show. We also have some really unique opportunities where I serve as a trustee on a statewide board that requires every month that I travel to a board meeting somewhere within the state of Georgia.
And so my husband goes with me and so we get a lot of car time together to solve world problems and hang out and talk. And then we get time while we're there. Like typically the board meetings will last, you know, and then he'll go do something while I'm in my meeting, but then that night we can be together with everybody else and it kind of becomes like a weekend thing.
And so it's kind of a built in marriage retreat as a benefit of the time that I'm spending pouring into the board.
[01:05:10] Ellie: I love that.
[01:05:11] Ciji: Yeah.
[01:05:11] Ellie: sounds like such a fun way to tack on fun with
[01:05:15] Ciji: Yeah. Yeah.
[01:05:16] Ellie: do for, for work as well.
[01:05:19] Ciji: And, you know, we met volunteering. And so both of us are really, really, really adamant about the way that we pour into our communities. And so we, it's a common thread that like when he's like, you know, I'm gonna be gone at this conference, or I gotta go do this. I don't see it as like a time away for me, I see it as time that he's doing something bigger than us.
And then looking forward to him coming back and being like, okay, now what are we gonna do? I like to have something to look forward to, so I'm like, let's get it on the calendar. Let's get the, the date night on the calendar to the extent that we can. But our pop-up day dates just are the greatest things since sliced bread, in my opinion.
I love 'em.
[01:06:01] Ellie: I love that the, the not having to coordinate childcare 'cause it's already handled is also like
[01:06:06] Ciji: Oh my gosh. Chef's kiss.
[01:06:11] Ellie: Is something that you have turned the burner all the way down on right now? What is something that is just not prioritized right now and you're okay with that?
[01:06:21] Ciji: Hmm. I think it's more of a simmer. I don't know that I would say it's completely a zero. And, and I wouldn't even say that. I don't care. I think I just resolved that other things are more pressing.
[01:06:35] Ellie: Perfect.
[01:06:35] Ciji: I, I preface all of that because my answer is gonna be work.
So I do in fact care, but I think that you know, wearing the hat of a professional communicator, and I, you know, to go a little bit deeper into what that means is I lead the strategic comms, and that could mean external, which is like media and dealing with press releases and how we talk about ourselves to the outside world, to how we talk to our employees.
So internal communications. So, and that could be speech writing, that could be an article for our internal, you know, intranet. That could be a newsletter. It could be a lot of different things. And for me, if I look at my to-do list, and it's not maybe as long as it typically would be, I am when, when my burner for work is on simmer, I am not the type of person that just goes to find busy work.
Like, I don't just, I don't seek it. It doesn't mean I don't go above and beyond, you know, like I am a high achiever and I like to produce and do great. I just don't necessarily think that my list has to be long in order to do great things. I think I can have one really, really important thing and I can be great at it versus mediocre.
For 10 things. And so when it's on simmer for me, that may look like, okay, maybe I do have a little extra time during the day to go to lunch with a colleague, you know? But maybe on a, when it's on high, I don't like, I'm locked in, I'm focused, I my plate's too full. But if it's on simmer, sure, you know, let's go have lunch.
Or maybe that means that I have a little, a few more windows of coffee time. So I'll stack my whole day with back-to-back coffee meetings and I'll use it as, you know, relationship building, networking, mentorship, opportunities, you know, catching up with people that maybe I haven't had a chance to when my work burner's on super high.
So simmer doesn't necessarily mean. Not doing anything. It's the shift in the way that you view the things you are doing and how much time they require. And also doing it very unapologetically. You know, like if my work burner is on simmer, maybe it's not a bad idea to have a 10:00 AM dentist appointment, you know, let's get it done now versus when my work burn burner is on high and now I gotta get my teeth cleaned.
And I waited and now I'm flustered 'cause I'm at the, you know, dentist office. I'm trying to check email and hold on, let me get on this call. And you know, like we, we do that to ourselves. You know, this is the time. If you're on simmer, maybe move some things that you normally would do.
[01:09:30] Ellie: To now.
[01:09:31] Ciji: 10 now, and we get to decide that, you know, like we, I own my calendar.
Nobody else owns my calendar. And the minute that I start to feel like my calendar no longer belongs to me, I pause and I'm like, hold up. Something's not right here. I've either signed on for too many things and I'm doing too much, or I've, I'm not taking advantage of the opportunity that I have when I have it, like, and I'm trying to do it all in this really, really, really full time period.
[01:10:02] Ellie: I, I really like how you said that. Ciji,
[01:10:06] Ciji: What are you obsessed with recently? What is sparking so much joy? Oh gosh. Is it possible to say everything? Well I'm, I'm in my hobby era, so, so somehow some way, I mean, there needs to be a hobby burner 'cause it is on high right now. I just bought a cricket. And for those of you that may not know about the cricket obsession, it's basically a machine that cuts things, but it cuts everything.
You can make stickers and buttons and you can cut wood. And I don't know why I need to cut all these things, but I just want to. So, you know, people have been telling me for years to buy one, they were so surprised that I would do, like, I've always been the type of person that the kids are having a birthday.
I go buy the construction paper and I hand draw the Mario and then I cut it and they were like, girl. No, no, we don't do that in this decade. We just don't do that. And so I couldn't wrap my mind around this investment of a machine. It just seemed like a lot of materials and things. But good golly, I made one project and your girl thinks that she is just gonna be making everything now.
Okay, so of course I'm aggressive and most people, their first project would just be something fun for around the house. You know, I'm gonna try to cut this or cut that, or learn. No, no. I decided, and I actually told the teacher, so now I gotta be held accountable. I told her I was gonna do this. I decided to make 16 luggage tags, custom luggage tags for my son's class.
Never made a project before. Don't know what I'm doing. Reading all the tutorials on Pinterest. Waving my help flag to all my girlfriends that for years were like, you need to buy the thing. And I'm like, now you need to tell me how to use it. And good golly, I made those luggage tags and I did have to reschedule a happy hour meetup with one of my mentors.
'cause I, and I literally just straight up sent her a text and I was like, look, I. I underestimated the luggage tags. And I just need this time back to work on them. Can we please reschedule? She was like, yes. I mean, she's an older lady, so she was like, I don't even know what you're talking about. Cricket, custom luggage, whatever.
I was like, thank you for your, your grace. I promised to reschedule, but yeah, I just, it's bringing me so much joy. And I'm already thinking of projects like, I'm like, how do I contain this joy? I kind of gotta bottle it a little bit because I wanna just make things, but there I don't need things. So, but yeah, I'm all in.
I I'm so jazzed. We're hosting Christmas this year, and yes, it's nowhere near time for Christmas, but I have already thought about all the Christmas things I'm going to make because I, the whole family will be here and I just cannot wait to show them all the custom. Stockings that I made them that they don't need.
And, but I'm just so happy about it. So between that and Mahjong, I'm just gonna have to reshape a lot of things in my life. I, I'm willing to let TV go altogether. I think that, I think that's what's gotta go tv. It's out. Because I just need more time in my day to do my crafting and my mahjong.
[01:13:27] Ellie: I love that so much. My cheeks are hurting from smiling, hearing you describe this cricket. but the, the best thing about crafting, in my opinion, is that you can also listen to audio books while you do the
[01:13:41] Ciji: Ooh,
[01:13:41] Ellie: and so you can double
[01:13:43] Ciji: yes.
[01:13:44] Ellie: the reading and the hobby.
[01:13:46] Ciji: yes. I'm all in. I'm all in. I just, I, it's, it's wild to me how all in a human can become so quickly, but I just, I go there and it just, it stays with me for a really long time.
[01:14:03] Ellie: I'm laughing because I also am that person where I'm like, I can make this. I'm gonna just make it like, I decided to sew myself a vest over the winter because like I couldn't find what I wanted. Why not? I've never used a sewing machine. How
[01:14:17] Ciji: No,
[01:14:17] Ellie: be?
[01:14:18] Ciji: it's not hard at all.
[01:14:19] Ellie: like, I feel like you understand
[01:14:21] Ciji: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it drives my husband crazy, crazy,
[01:14:27] Ellie: was livid. He was like, why is there all this fleece
[01:14:30] Ciji: Yes, yes, yes, yes. There's random wood in the garage 'cause I'm making bookshelves, whatever.
[01:14:38] Ellie: the process dear. Trust the process.
[01:14:41] Ciji: It's fine. It's fine. Whatever.
[01:14:45] Ellie: Ciji, where can people learn more about you and follow you?
[01:14:48] Ciji: Yeah, I would love for everyone to come on over to balance not busy on Instagram. That's where all the action for the most part is happening. I spend a lot of time in that space sharing the balance behind the scenes of my own personal life and things that are going on. I also have a website, so Balance not busy.com if, if folks are curious about speaking engagements or places I've been to speak and the topics and the opportunities there I don't hang out much in other places I want to, but we gotta prioritize Cricket and Mahjong, so I'm not even gonna commit to it.
But I am on LinkedIn as well. I know that that's a popular place for people and that's just as my first and last name, Ciji Townsend. And I love connecting with people on LinkedIn. I think it's such a really cool place to have conversations, you know, professionally and in that space. I talk a lot about wellness in the workplace.
And staying grounded and focused. And I feel like that's just an evergreen topic that will never go away, just unfortunately. And unfortunately, I don't know, like, you know, I'm like fortunate for me 'cause I love talking about it, but unfortunately for people, 'cause I need us to be well. But yeah, those are the primary spaces you know, where I am.
And then also on Instagram, I will share a lot of times where I'm speaking ahead of time, so if people wanna come out and hear me speak, and like I said, I travel all over, so I'm oftentimes in neck of the woods that people wouldn't expect me to be in. Because I'm, I'm really open to getting this message of it is possible to live such a full life and rest.
[01:16:24] Ellie: I love that.
[01:16:25] Ciji: And then what is your favorite part of your life? Ooh mornings. Yeah. Hands down, just that morning. Quiet time is just so super special and I just, I live for it.
[01:16:43] Ellie: Amazing. Well, Ciji, thank you so much for chatting. This has been so much fun. I appreciate your flexibility and hope you have a great rest of your day.
[01:16:50] Ciji: Same, same, same. This is so much fun.
[01:16:53] Ellie: This is so much fun.
